 vs. 
Yeah, so most people seem to have no hope in the Jazz. Be you a Lakers fan hoping for a sweep, a "famous" person... aka, a mainstream media guy... predicting the Lakers in 5 or 6 or a Jazz fan hoping the Jazz don't get totally embarrassed, you'd have to say/admit things don't look good for the Jazz. They've been struggling for the last bit, both at home and on the road (though that's a season-long issue). Injuries come and go, tensions may be rising, the coach may be giving up (or just trying to goad the team), the players may be packing for the off-season (and a new home?), etc. That, though, is what it is. And it'll all be dealt with at some point. Right now though, the main thing ahead is the first round playoff series with the Lakers. And so let's take a look at that by looking in at a conversation between an optimistic Jazz fan (played... surprisingly... by me) and a pessimistic Jazz fan (played... not so surprisingly... by me).
Optimist: So, what do you think of the Jazz/Lakers match-up? Do you think the Jazz stand a chance? I'm thinking that they could pull it off.
Pessimist: Ha! You're joking, right? The Jazz will be killed. In fact, they'll be lucky to win 1 game. What makes you think they can "pull it off"?
Optimist: Well, look back at the Golden State/Dallas match-up from a couple years back. 8-seeds have done it before, and the Jazz of this year are much better than the Warriors team of that year. It's very much possible.
Pessimist: Better than the Dubs of that year? Man... they couldn't beat the NBDL line-up the Warriors threw out this year. And those Dubs would kill these Dubs. Plus, this year's Lakers are much better than that year's Mavericks. Oh, and the Warriors had an ex-coach of the Mavs, and owned the Mavs on the court. Horrible match-up for the Mavs. This year, the Jazz have no ex-Lakers, but the Lakers have Derek Fisher.
Optimist: (Bitter tone) That S.O.B.
Pessimist: Oh, grow up you jerk. He did what was best for his family. Anyhow, forget that. A horrible match-up this year exists as well... like the one that favored the Warrios back then... but it favors the Lakers. They're a much better defensive team than the Jazz. And their offense revolves around a star SG and 2 bigs... 7 feet tall each. The Jazz can't stop a SG, let alone a star SG. As for the bigs... the Jazz bigs come in at 6'11 and 6'9, with a 6'8 guy being the lead guy off the bench. They can't stop two 7-footers (plus Lamar Odom). Especially when the starters don't play D... aka pretty much always. The Jazz just match-up horribly with them. And that's when both starting bigs are healthy... at least one of them isn't right now. Take one of them out, and it's even worse. Meanwhile, the Lakers feature 2 bigs defensively that'll force the Jazz to take jumpers, which they suck at. Push it in to Booze, and he'll either turn it over or get rejected. What does that leave you with? Deron can't score 100 points/game. And even if he did, the defense would be bad enough and the team would still lose.
Optimist: The Jazz have the advantage in some positions.
Pessimist: Yeah, fine. Whatever. I can think of... um... 1.
- PG: Deron > Fish... duh.
- SG: Brewer < Kobe... huge Brewer fan, but let's be serious.
- SF: AK = Ariza, CJ or Matt < Ariza... AK, if he's playing well, might be better. But he's not playing well.
- PF: Booze = Gasol... Booze playing well right now, and Gasol is an a**.
- C: Okur < Bynum, back-ups <<< Bynum... if Okur is out, watch out.
- coach: j-slow > Jackson... j-slow has proven he can win without a superstar, though he seems near done with this season
- bench: 'Sap from the Jazz, Odom from the Lakers... no real questions here
Deron. That's about it. Maybe a tie with AK/Ariza. And a tie on Booze/Gasol, if you want to be a real homer. That's about it.
Optimist: Oh, and the Jazz have height to match-up with the Lakers. They're called Kyrylo Fesenko & Kosta Koufos. Kosta was recently called up, and they're both...
Pessimist: (Interrupting) benchwarmers. Even if Okur is out, they'll be lucky to get off the bench before it turns into a blowout. You could go sign Greg Ostertag 5 seconds before the game, and he'd be more likely to get time than those 2.
Optimist: Man, I miss Ostertag. So much good for the Jazz... a defensive presence, some comedy, a j-slow doghouse regular... and he helped the Jazz get rid of Kirk Snyder (aka the insane burglar) and Raul Lopez and Curtis Borchardt and others. Back to this game though... another good thing for the Jazz. There's no back-to-back games. Those killed the Jazz this year. Having a day off between every game is good. Time to rest/relax. Never bad.
Pessimist: Yeah, except for travel days, where you have one day to travel and prepare for a game the next day. Oh, and have you looked at the schedule? There will be, at a max, 4 road games for the Jazz. Meaning that they'd have to win at least 1 to advance.
Optimist: Doable.
Pessimist: Doable? You do realize that 1 road win equals how many road wins they had against Western Conference playoff teams the entire season, right?!? And you expect them to match that total (out of like 14 games or something) in just a 4-game span here? Against the best team in the Western Conference? There's no way the Jazz win game 7 on the road. This isn't Houston, after all. And the Lakers are pumped. The Jazz aren't. Very unlikely that the Lakers drop a game at home & all 3 on the road.
Optimist: It could happen on the road. As for the Lakers being unlikely to drop all 3 on the road... the Jazz, may I remind you, were solid at home this season.
Pessimist: Yeah, they were. Let me mention 2 teams to you, okay? One... Minnesota Timberwolves.
Optimist: (Whimpers)
Pessimist: Two... Golden State NBDL'ers.
Optimist: (Goes and hides in a corner while in tears)
Pessimist: Is that the "solid at home" you were talking about? Look, they might've been solid at home before. I don't know what hit them late... was it overconfidence? Or did the other stuff get to the team? Either way, solid before doesn't equal solid now.
Optimist: Well, um... the Jazz are the 2nd most talented team in the West.
Pessimist: (Rolling eyes) Yeah, we can all see that.
Optimist: They're finally healthy. If they had been healthy all season, they'd easily be the number 2 seed in the West.
Pessimist: Dude... it doesn't matter. They weren't healthy, they're not #2. Second-most talented in the West is up in the air... many teams could claim that. And most would have a better argument than the Jazz. And what do you mean they're healthy now? CJ & Okur are both actually injured. Half the team is suffering from an injured ego. Oh, and the Lakers are finally healthy as well... they finally have Bynum back. So, now not only are they healthier than the Jazz, but they also have more talent... #1 team in the West... and they have the benefit in that the Jazz could be missing 2 starters.
Optimist: Ronnie Brewer improved, so he'll be more ready to shut down Bryant. And the Jazz will be ready to attack the hoop early and often. That'll create foul problems that the Jazz can exploit.
Pessimist: Yep, and exploit it they will... with their 77% FT shooting. You can't stop Bryant... and putting Brewer one-on-one with Kobe is suicide... fouls galore there. Like last year. Which just happens to be j-slow's style (one-on-one defense at the worst possible times, that is). As for attacking the hoop, like every fan of every team complains, the refs hate you. So why would they blow whistles when they're obviously out to prevent you from advancing so that they can set up a LBJ/Kobe match-up in the NBA Finals? Plus, as soon as Gasol/Bynum get their hands on a couple of shots, the Jazz will get scared out of their mind and settle for early-in-the-shot-clock, ugly-looking jumpers that miss by a mile. Even more ugly if they're taken by AK.
Optimist: Well, Booze is playing well now.
Pessimist: Like he was at the end of last season, before disappearing in the playoffs? Or do you mean "well" as in "while Boozer was playing well, the Jazz struggled big time and ended the season horribly"?
Optimist: But he has more to play for now... a new contract.
Pessimist: Whatever. That hasn't motivated him most of this season. Look, last year, the 2 teams met, and the Lakers won in 6. Since then, the Lakers have improved... a better back-up PG?, Andrew Bynum is back, Gasol has an year+ in the system, etc. Meanwhile, the Jazz have stayed the same/regressed (only real changes are swapping Hart for Knight and taking Price out of the rotation). They couldn't win last year. What makes you think they'll win this year.
Optimist: The Jazz are good at things like this. They'll "flip the switch" and turn it on now that the playoffs are here. Jerry Sloan knows what he's doing, even if he seems like he's giving up. They'll just flip the switch in the playoffs.
Pessimist: They waited a bit too late for that. They should've turned it on before getting stuck with the Lakers. And I'd just like to channel my inner Dream Shake and remind you that the Jazz have no rings. So, while j-slow might "know what he's doing," it obviously hasn't worked before. And he's had teams that have played a lot better than this one. You can't just flip the switch on in the playoffs and win. Other teams have worked a lot harder (all season, no less)... they're not just going to roll over and get hurt (well, unless you're Andrew Bynum... in which case you'll never know when Kobe will take another shot at you as revenge for not being traded for Jason Kidd).
Optimist: So your prediction is what exactly?
Pessimist: Lakers in 4 or 5.
Optimist: No way dude! Life off, game on! Jazz in 7!!!
Pessimist: Again, 1 road Western Conference playoff team win in the season, and you think the Jazz will win a game 7? In LA???
Optimist: Don't stop believing!
Pessimist: Okay... so what happened to the anti-Brev Brev sentiment?
Optimist: New season dude! Brevin was huge for the Jazz early in the season when Deron was out. It's a new season, he'll have his confidence back and be absolutely amazing. It dropped off a bit near the end of the season, but he'll find it again.
Pessimist: So you're okay with Brev Brev over Ronnie P.?
Optimist: Other than a huge block in the playoffs, a huge dunk when he played for the Kings, and the occasional spark off of the bench, what has Price ever given us?
Pessimist: Um... what more do you want from a back-up PG that plays 10 minutes/game, max?
Optimist: Exactly. Ronnie P. has given the Jazz nothing! Brevin for the win!
Pessimist: Uh... okay. And what about Harpring and his minutes? I thought you hated that.
Optimist: He's got the toughness to carry this team, something other players are lacking. And he used to play football, you know... so if the Jazz ever need, he can tackle someone or something. Toughness baby! It oozes out of him.
Pessimist: And Flop?
Optimist: Jarron Collins is a veteran center who has stuck around for a while, so obviously he's got something going for him. He'll be our answer to the Bynum/Gasol combo... he'll stand there and play solid D and force them into tough shots. Mark it down now... Collins will be the MVP of the series!
Pessimist: MVP of the series? He can't drive a golf-cart, and he's going to shut down one of the better front-courts in the league and win MVP of a series?
Optimist: You heard it here first! 15 & 10 for Collins...
Pessimist: (Interrupting) 15 & 10 total in 7 games is what? Like 2 ppg and 1.4 rpg? Those are MVP numbers?
Optimist: No. Duh! 15 & 10 per game. Plus like 3 or 4 blocks per game.
Pessimist: I'll ignore the points/rebounds totals you're giving him. But 3 or 4 blocks a game? For a guy that has averaged 0.2 blocks per game for his career? What?
Optimist: Jazz in 7 baby! Brewer will silence Kobe like the firing squad silenced (insert people silenced by firing squad here). Booze will explode offensively, and only get rejected 3 times the entire series. Collins will by MVP, as I mentioned. Korver will show La Máquina who is boss. Gasol & Bynum will be harassed to no end by the defensive presence of Flop, Fesenko & The Koof (when the last 2 play). Okur will find his shot, and be deadly from downtown. AK will regain his shot, and his shot-blocking presence. CJ Miles will be absolutely amazing, and make people wonder why he's being paid so little. Morris Almond will net himself a multi-million dollar contract with his play. Watch out league. The Jazz are just getting started!
Pessimist: I give up. Trying to talk sense into an overly optimistic Jazz fan is near impossible. You go get your hopes up. I'll go look ahead to the NBA draft (the Jazz have picks #20 & 50, by the way).
The series starts Sunday. So... how do the Jazz do? And more importantly, how did I do? Is this good? Or too long? Or just stupid? And what category do you fall under? Eternal optimistic (bordering on totally insane)? Or pessimist... or realist, if you prefer... (bordering on completely hopeless)? Or are you one of the weird ones that lies somewhere in middle?
Come on Jazz! Don't let the fans down. Especially not the eternal optimists!
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